Look at your relationship and ask what things need to be improved then put a plan in place to work on those things a more harmonious relationship going forward will speed up the process of forgiveness and allow your trust in them to build again identifying and working on through issues in a relationship is not easy. To forgive a cheating spouse it is going to take a lot of time and will power and the spirit of forgiveness wont wash all over you until you are satisfied he is truly regretful and has taken actions to rebuild trust the forgiveness part wont happen for a while. If the affair is still going and youre pretending to work on your relationship just take your partners heart in your hand and squeeze it hard it will hurt a lot less and it will do less damage to your relationship if the affair is genuinely finished the one who has been hurt will need ongoing confirmation of this for a while. How to get over being cheated on 13 steps 1 accept how youre feeling its difficult to accept what youre feeling right now trust me i know from experience if youre anything like me youre probably feeling upset betrayed and let down and you cant help but question your own self worth but you need to understand these feelings are perfectly normal and the more you try