The notion of the self in relation makes an important shift in emphasis from separation to relationship as the basis for self experience and development further relationship is seen as the basic goal of development ie the deepening capacity for relationship and relational competence the self in relation model assumes that other aspects of self eg creativity autonomy assertion . Self in relation theory was first proposed by women researchers at wellesley colleges stone center in 1991 jordan kaplan miller stiv er surrey 1991 self in relation theory evolved. Being your true self in relationships 2589 this above all to thine own self be true and it must follow as the night the day thou canst not then be false to any man william shakespeare are you in a relationship with a spouse or a friend where you feel you cannot express your true thoughts do you find yourself censoring your views because you are afraid the other will become . Our sense of self is a complex thing clearly it lasts for as long as we live but it can evolve slowly or sometimes quite rapidly depending on the situations and circumstances we find ourselves in when it comes down to it were in charge of our own behavior and our own happiness